Blog changes

I’ve made a few visible changes to the blog. Hope you like them, please vote over on the right side panel. I’d appreciate it if you could change the name of this blog in your links. I might also change the address to http://tortoisefeathers.blogspot.com but because I’m not sure what the effect of that will be, I don’t want to change anything like that just at the moment.

Change change change

It’s more the lack of change that is the issue for my personal life. I don’t mean my romantic life, rather things like the desire to make some changes but not having the time or energy to actually make the change. I need to change my job or career and we need to move house. Both of these things take a lot of energy and careful consideration. They are big things around which lots of important smaller things happen, like they have heavy gravity. Gravity is the problem: you need a lot of thrust to break out of Earth’s gravity and that’s what I’m lacking in my life: thrust to break out of my current gravity. The problem is more difficult because I have two gravitational things to change, my job and my house. Does anyone have any advice on how I should manage this predicament? I’m just floundering at the moment, I’m paddling but just not getting anywhere. I’m also worried about the recession: if I quit my job, what happens if I can’t get anything else? How would we cope without my income as the main breadwinner? I guess the other side of the coin is that at the moment, is it better to have stability and a steady income, even though I’m not happy at work? So many considerations! It’s overwhelming! I can’t see the wood for the trees, if you know what I mean.

 

Happy Halloween!

Whatever you’re doing, I hope you have a great time. My children are excited and I’m exhausted after battling through crowds in the shops today. Suddenly, it doesn’t feel like there is a recession on at all. The shops were rammed with people, don’t know if they were buying though but there was certainly a lot of hustle and bustle and a feeling of Christmas coming. Funny how Christmas has more feeling in leaner times. The Christmas gift market had lots of great gifts but we were just browsing. I was tempted to buy a bottle or two of Caribbean Punch but I didn’t in the end, my wife was worried there would be too much ginger in it and she doesn’t much like ginger. I don’t mind it so much.

It’s been a hell of a busy week at work this past week. I did get a bit of time back on Friday afternoon though, so that was good.

We ate in a restaurant for lunch today. I couldn’t believe the bill when it arrived. Don’t get me wrong - the food was lovely. However, first of all my son’s plate had to be sent back because it arrived with beef instead of chicken. Then my wife’s had to go back because she got pasta instead of brown rice with her meatballs. My wife did at least get a complimentary drink out of it but even so. It was just short of 60 pounds, we usually eat out for less than half of that. I would have felt more cheated if the food hadn’t been good. I’m just not sure it was THAT good. We also had to queue a few minutes for a table. There was a much bigger queue on our way out. I’m really surprised how popular the place was. My wife and I shared a plate of nachos, the kids had ice cream and we had two rounds of drinks. I guess it all adds up, we normally just have mains plus drinks. Probably won’t be going there again any time soon.

Halloween is coming

Halloween is in 7 days time. How will you be celebrating this Celtic New Year? An adult Halloween party with apple bobbing games and toffee apples followed by some dark rituals? A night at home with a scary movie? A party with friends in a public bar? At a party for children, taking them Trick or Treating or playing games? Dressing up in costume? I will be attending a family bonfire with our children. It should be a fun evening if its not raining and will involve the traditional games and roasting marshmallows on sticks above the fire. Hope you have a good one, whatever you're doing.

Poetry practice

I haven’t done very much creative writing over the last 12 years. I’ve started to practice writing again recently but not compulsively. I thought I’d share with you a draft of a poem I’m working on. What do you think? I can’t work out why the first line is indented. It’s annoying but nothing I can do about it.

The Unexpected

It's funny, life
The unexpected happens
Like air under plastic
You think it's flat, move your hand
Revealing the bubble

I used to potter through life
In my teens, my twenties
When I didn't know who I was
Now I'm dad, hubby, home owner, pension payer
Once impossible
Now reality

How did that happen?
Where was I?
When did my hair go thin?
When did my face lose its youth?
When did I get stale?

I don't recognise the face
In portraits I take
While on the train
Or at home, between emails
A middle aged man stares back
Dull, with middle class mores

Dream dream dream

I had an anxiety dream last night. I was asked to give a presentation using PowerPoint. It’s something I’ve done a lot of in my career. But this time I couldn’t find the file on my computer. I was looking in all the usual places but just couldn’t find it.

The people in the audience wanted to get up for a comfort break but I refused to let them take a break, saying that my presentation was about to start – I even rapped on the table with a paperweight to get their attention. But instead of starting I carried on looking at Windows Explorer sifting through my folders and subfolders to no avail.

I think I had this dream because we have a new filing system at work I find confusing and I had to write some notes up for my boss, who was giving a presentation. It just shows that you can’t always leave work when you leave work, if you see what I mean.

Weekends

I was just musing, what if weekends didn't exist? What if, the powers of economic determination forced everbody in the working world to accept, as the 'norm', a 7 day week? The only days off work being those taken through holiday. What would that do to holiday days? If it was the case that we got the same number of days for holiday as we get for weekends would that be so bad? It would be like taking a weekend whenever you wanted. Who invented weekends anyhow? There must have come a point between the cavemen and the businessmen of today when somebody said, "Hang on. We're working our employees into the ground with this 7 day week, let's give 'em a couple of days to make 'em feel like they've got a life". Why only 2 days for a weekend? Who decided that particular regimen? I'd prefer to work 3 days and rest 4 days. I'm sure I would be a better worker, the reduced week would ensure I made every minute count. How many employees can truly say every minute counts with a 5 day week?

Saturday Musings

Just finished a nose bleed. It's neither a common experience but at the same time it's the third or so in the last three months. Slightly alarming is the way it gushes out. I think I may have high blood pressure, due to stress. It clots up pretty quick though so it's not like I'm losing much blood or anything. I'm not alarmed by my own blood, obviously though I prefer not to see it. I have donated blood in the past, maybe I should donate again, they do always welcome volunteers. It's good blood as far as I'm concerned. Speaking of blood, has anyone seen True Blood? Channel 4 here has started showing the first season over here and I've missed 3 episodes so far, if its any good I might watch them using the 4 On Demand service on the internet.
Not much else to report. I have been finding it difficult again to think of something to write about. I borrowed a book from the library that is about writing. Maybe it will free up some thoughts and help me to write again. We shall see, I've a story I started using Google Docs earlier in the year, maybe I'll pick that up again and add more to it.

A cold

I have caught a cold. It developed on Thursday evening and got worse on Friday. Today I feel pretty dreadful. I hope it’s not swine flu, doesn’t feel like flu but is pretty unpleasant nonetheless. I don’t do colds very well, I think my asthma makes them feel worse.